Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
