Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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