Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
