theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
