singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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