the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
be right there i have to get my cape
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
