I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
