when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
