Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
