morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
