i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
