I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
