Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
