man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm just crazy horny about you
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
