You're my little dorito
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
