He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
