He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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