I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
