Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
