yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
