i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
