I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
