so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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