perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
