Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
