Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
