SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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