Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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