my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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