Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
