Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
