just tell him i said nine months
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
