I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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