I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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