Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
