is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
