I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
