I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
