so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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