The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
