Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
