I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
