He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
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