The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm at about main and main street
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
