i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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