Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Randomize
