he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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