How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
