How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
