I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
