I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
