how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
