how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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