Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
