Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
